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A FIVER STORY THAT, RIGHTLY OR WRONGLY, FELT THE DECENT THING WASN'T TO RIFF ON SCOTTISH FITBA'S PAIN

On second thoughts, DON'T STOP FOOTBALL! Because it turns out it's not ALL about multinational corporations vying for market share, mollycoddled egomaniacs vying for attention and Lee Cattermole vying for the sheer hell of it. No, there are still some genuine thrills to be had! And the jolliest for a while has come not from Big Cup but its much-maligned, more modest little brother, Big Vase.

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FIVER LETTERS

\. "Learn how to Kilmarnock called a sign defender Mark De Man Could the scouting team, Kenny Shiels 's for the defenders to literally" - Alex Watson [adoption Getyousethe Effinto-em is not available - Fiver Ed].

". Re: Vitor Pereira 's claim that Barca is the best team he has seen in his life (yesterday are' s quote of the day) I 'd go further and say that they are the best team of all are times, such as., ever. Brazil '70 can 't have all that was good because we have the same three clips over and over. Holland late 70s, 70s Liverpool, Milan late '80s, the Real Madrid get by Puskas \ shown, has been well at the time and others can, but nobody comes close to the combination of the right passing football to win when in fact things as Barca Thurs Certainly no one can object "-.? McPhee Scholarship.

"With just pee on the floor, the dog Bonnie didn 't really do what may become known as Depardieu (yesterday' s Fiver letters). To achieve this, they would have to fill a plastic bottle of water while strapped in to have a first-class airplane seat, and then (depending on which report you believe) either continue to pee so the bottle to overflow onto the floor, or just spill the bottle on the floor. Perhaps the Fiver could develop into a challenge for privileged reader 'dogs on the way home from Big Cup away leg in the season "- Tim plane.

Meanwhile, Renzo Ulivieri, the head of the Italian Managers' Association, has chained himself to the railings of the Football Federation's HQ in protest at a perceived fall in coaching certificate standards. "This is the real scandal of the summer," he growled.

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