Have a Good NEWS

What happens when children leave to start a new life in college? Joanna Moorhead talks with some empty nesters,

Teresa Goodman

When my son was younger, I often thought, if I had time! If only I had time to clean the cabinets, to store the place up, to fix things. Everything seemed a struggle. I was working, going to school, life was always very busy.

Then he went to college, and at the same time, he was fired. Then suddenly, I had many, many times, and I started to clear things up ... and found myself looking at pictures of my son, and their reports and school certificates and things, and I wondered: where did he go? Where all these years? When I opened some of the reports, I realized that I had never read before, I was too busy to look properly. And it made me very upset.

seems strange that, against a loss, but that's what we feel. A mini-game, I suppose, but a huge loss and grief that I am, my son, and the life we ??had together. We live in a small house, but it seems so empty now, and when I'm in the supermarket aisle past the pasta and scope of the fusilli, which was always her favorite, before thinking that "don t need no more.

I'm sure things will get easier, it is still very raw at the moment and what is worse, because I do not work. I still think you should get a job, find something to get me out of the house, and I'm sure I will soon, but this year was very hard and strange, and I'm not there yet.

Judy Ironside

Only when my youngest son, The Hague, on the left I felt really feel that the nest was empty, and while I would not say I expected, I was really ready for that when he arrived. I had no desire to go for years, or pick up: my feeling was, I did a good job as a mother. I had children, raised them, they are there in the world. I do not need another chance at her. Instead, I had that feeling of being released, to be released from daily needs, dominated his life, as long as you have children living at home

The most important thing that helped is that I know I'm doing a job I love - I am the founder and director of the Jewish Film Festival in the UK - and that takes much of my time and energy and I savor every minute of it. This gives me an identity that is not only being a mother, and I'm sure helped.

One thing that surprised me was how my husband, Leslie, and enjoy meals on our own breakfast on Saturday morning, for example, when we sat around for centuries with the newspaper. We did not realize how much we love to talk about our own problems, because the reality of raising five children, is that much of their conversation revolves around them. And still does, but more likely to have other problems there as well. The other thing I like to have again in my life is spontaneity is great to be able to say, at 20.30, why not go see a movie

and Zofia Karol Burks Adrian

Adrian:

The hardest, most bizarre of all, is simply friendship. I miss their contributions, their stories. I miss sitting down to eat with them

I did not know until it happened, this great event which is when your children leave home, j 'had known it would be great, but I did not know it would be so great. Their move coincided with a very serious disease, and nearly died, which forced me to rethink many things, and be more philosophical about the change What you realize when you went, is that much of his life when children are in the fight against fires - you think that for them to do for tea, you think what is happening this weekend, you wonder who will later lead to where we should be. Not much time to focus on long-term goals, because life is a series of very urgent, short-term problems, but when they come, suddenly everything changes

When our children were young, our lives revolved around them - we both like to have children, and we really pleased all the same way that there was much to deplore in the sense that they felt they had not done more often. But I was also very concerned about whether Adrian and I had enough to join again. I was wondering, do we have one and enough others?

have to think only of ourselves, after all this time, when he was still thinking about children, it was very strange for a long time. It was as if we had enough to do with our time, despite the fact that I have an elementary school principal busy (and I thank God for this reason it should be much easier to deal with empty nest when you have the distraction demanding jobs).